March's Support Group topic

Grief

The deep sorrow of grief is an emotional topic that many choose to avoid processing at all costs. However, it is necessary to face grief if we are not to be drowned by it.

While you may associate grief strictly with the death of a loved one, the emotion can overtake us in the loss a job or home, or the loss of your foster child placement. The circumstances for foster care are complex and grief is, unfortunately, a reality for many foster parents. 

As heavy as this topic is, we encourage you to grieve in community and explore these resources as a support to your healing process. 

Doctor examining child's throat in clinic

"The Next Right Thing" from Frozen 2

Break out the tissues. This video does a great job of capturing the human experience of loss and adversity amidst a time where Anna can’t just give up — the town of Arendelle depends on her.

Like any parent knows, even on your hard days, the kids still have to get dressed, eat, go to school and be loved well. 

Pay attention to the lyrics in this video and consider the truth in her words. It may be easy to imagine these in your own life, or it might be easier to imagine someone you love expressing their pain to you.

Brené Brown on Healing Through Grief

Check out this article 8 Lessons from Brené Brown on Healing Through Grief. This resource provides practical takeaways and insightful reflections on the process of grief and the pitfalls of avoiding vulnerability. 
 
“We don’t do ourselves any favors when we rush or simply try to skip over the process of grieving. Even when it is scary, we must follow our hearts and honor our grief. Allow our hearts to heal the way they truly want to. Grief teaches us the power of our love, and our resilience. When we practice courage, we lean into showing the world our whole self, wounds and all.” 
– Brené Brown 
 
 Pro tip: Check out her YouTube video on The Power of Vulnerability

The Challenges of Foster Care: Processing Grief and Loss

Grief and Loss Article: This resource is super helpful as you walk through and anticipate your foster child’s potential reunification to a bio parent or kinship.  It is one of the hardest realities of foster care. You connect and fall and love with children who need this secure attachment from you but as much as we love them, their forever home may not be with us.*

Next Up: Kate Atwood's "It's Time to Reframe Grief for Children"

In this video, Kate gives merit and recognition to the child’s perception and experience of grief.

Pointedly, Kate explains that we are never hesitant to attended to a broken arm with x-rays, a cast and protected time to heal. But, we frequently neglect to tend to a broken heart.

Why is that?

An unattended heart can lead to intensified emotions that are stifled instead of processed. As foster parents we must be emotionally equipped to assist our kids in their grief and give them tools to walk through the challenges of life.

Additional Resources

  1. Bluey Episode: While it might seem a little silly and lighthearted this episode does a great job of showing what grief can look like for a child as they work through the emotions of grief and rework their experiences through role play.
  2. The Grief and Loss course that you took as a part of your Precertification Training may be helpful to revisit. If you took this course through DaVinici, it is likely still accessible on your account. If you need to revisit this course and cannot access it through DaVinici email [email protected].

* The Challenges of Foster Care: Processing Grief and Loss: This article is provided by the Wisconsin Coalition for Children, Youth and Families and the Wisconsin Department of Children and Families. Information and resources linked in the article has not been evaluated by Hope & Home and may be specific to Wisconsin foster parents.